


I wanna sleep next to you (but that's all I wanna do right now)

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Completed, Getting Back Together, Highschool AU, Hurt & Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Malec, Sexual Content Mentioned, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-05-31 18:19:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6481699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Your OTP tells each other how they much miss one another."<br/>Magnus and Alec haven't seen each other since summer started, and Jace is determined to change that.<br/>(Title from Talk Me Down by Troye Sivan)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which Alec literally runs from his problems.

**Parababye:** alec we need 2 talk u mopey bastard.  
**Alice:** I'm not moping.  
**Parababye:** yes u r. meet me @ jade wolf, wont ask u again  
**Parababye:** u comin?  
**Parababye:** alec i can see u  
**Parababye:** come in u twat  
**Alice:** I hate you.

It's a cold day in Brooklyn. The wind is swirling around Alec Lightwood, flying through his hair like _someone's_ hands used to. He sighs, kicking a stray stone with the corner of his shoe. The sun is setting in the distance, casting an orange glow over the area. 

Alec looks up at the sign of the Chinese restaurant, octuple checking that, yes, Alec, this is the right place, yes, Alec, that is Jace inside and not an impostor. Alec takes one more moment to admire the scenery before pushing into the small shop, heading straight over to his best friend without a second thought. 

(Well that isn’t necessarily true. He was having second, third, fourth, fifth thoughts all on the five second walk from the door to the table, but nobody needs to know that.)

"Alexander, I thought you'd never show!" Jace says, smirking at his friend. Alec sighs, leaning on the table and running a hand through his jet black hair. Jace doesn't even remember the last time he saw Alec smile. 

Well. 

He does. It was before summer vacation, at the last party of the year, when he was being dragged off by Magnus to do God knows what. After that night, in the morning... Alec seemed so down, as if someone had killed his puppy or something. For the past three weeks he has been moping around, not saying much to anyone and brushing off people's concerns. 

Jace hates that Alec always feels like he has to put on a brave face. They've been friends for sixteen years, surely Alec knows he can tell Jace anything?

"Cmon, Alec. You can tell me anything." Jace reaches forward and grabs Alec's hands in a cheesy fashion, pulling his friend closer to him. " _Anything._ "

Alec stays silent, breaking free of Jace’s grasp. Jace sighs, trying not to be too disappointed. He’s amazed that Alec even showed up to see him. Jace, Izzy, Clary and Simon have all been trying for weeks to get Alec to talk to anyone in more than monosyllable with no luck.

“I just… I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.” Alec whispers, his voice rough and scratchy from not being used properly, and okay, Jace didn’t need a heart, he didn’t need these feelings.

“Alec. You two are like… _destiny_!” he exclaims, grabbing Alec’s shoulders from across the booth. “You’re gonna see him again.” Alec shakes his head furiously. He knew that Jace wouldn’t understand.

“You don’t get it, Jace.” Alec sighs, running a hand through his hair again. Jace makes a noise of disapproval at this action and comment. “I’m going to a different university to him. It’s okay for you. You’re not leaving school yet. You’ll see Clary next year.” 

And oh boy, Jace has never hated the age gap between them more.

“Alec-” Jace starts, but he is cut off by Alec holding his hand up.

For the first time in ages, Jace takes a proper look at his best friend and realises that he looks _tired_. His skin is more grey than usual, he looks like he hasn’t done much other than lay in bed since summer started, his hair is stuck up in all directions and, finally, the bags under his eyes make him look like he’s got two nasty black eyes. His slumped shoulders and the way his eyes are constantly pointed downwards just scream _I need sleep!!_

“Alec, please. We’ve all been worried sick about you, because you’re pining over your _boyfriend_? Cmon, Alec, he loves you. Have you two even tried to speak?”

“I… He probably doesn’t want to.” Jace rolls his eyes at Alec, sitting back in his seat. “I-I have to go.” And before Jace can even think to react, Alec is gone. Jace sighs, watching his best friend run away from his problems. Literally.


	2. Alec Lightwood Defense Squad™

**Alec’s Annoying Friend:** bane. jade wolf RIGHT NOW. do not disappoint.  
**The Glittery Sass Master:** *sigh*  
**Alec’s Annoying Friend:** i swear 2 fuck get ur ass over here right now  
**Alec’s Annoying Friend:** am not joking about this.

Magnus sighs. It’s not really a secret that he and Jace don’t get along like the best of friends, but nobody would exactly call them “enemies”, either. They’re basically both the heads of the Alec Lightwood Defense Squad™, and that’s pretty much the only thing they see eye to eye on.

(Sidenote: there is a groupchat containing Magnus, Izzy, Clary and Jace called the Alec L. Def Squad)

It’s a cold evening in Brooklyn. The few trees that he can see are shuddering in the wind. There are young children putting their jumpers on one of them, much to the disdain of the parent looking on. A small smile appears on Magnus’ face as he passes them his coat to give to the tree.

“Thank you, Mr Fairy!” the oldest of the girls cries out to him as he walks away. Magnus smiles again. 

It feels like he hasn’t smiled in an eternity. Not since he last saw Alec. Oh, it’s so weird to think that _Magnus Bane_ is pining after someone. This never happens. 

It’s haunting him. A certain… conversation that occurred that has been replaying in Magnus’ head for the past three weeks. He doesn’t want to think about it, but he made a mistake.

 

_“Magnus, we should talk about this-”_

_“There’s nothing to say, Alec. I’m sorry, but… We both need to focus on our studies right now.”_

_“So you’re breaking up with me?!” Alec sounded mad, or hurt, or both. Magnus had to force himself not to show any emotion, even though it felt like he was dying inside._

_“Yes.” The disbelief on Alec’s face broke him apart. There was a few moments of silence, and then Alec’s shaky voice shattered it._

_“Get out.”_

 

Magnus shudders, pushing the memory to the back of his mind. He hates that he’d done that to Alec. He wasn’t intending to hurt him so badly, he just doesn’t… he needs to… Study. University. Job. Excuses.

And it was made even worse when all the others in the Alec L. Def Squad were getting worried about Alec. They kept asking Magnus if he knew what was wrong. They asked him if it was something to do with their relationship. They asked him and asked him and with each day he felt worse and worse because he never answered. He ended up leaving the chat and telling them that he didn’t know what was wrong. He hated himself for it.

The Jade Wolf has quickly become Magnus’ least favourite place in the entire state of New York.. There are too many memories here. Good, bad, everything in between. But Jace wants to talk to him, and Jace _never_ wants to talk to him. This cannot be good.

_Oh god, what if it’s about Alec?_

Magnus shoves that thought away, pushing it to burn in the fiery depths of hell. He prays to high heaven that Jace doesn’t want to talk about Alec.

But of course, what else would he want to talk about?

“Magnus, I get that this might be a sore spot for you or whatever, but we’re all worried about him. What’s up with you guys? You’re supposed to be like… in love or some shit.” Magnus sighs, running a hand through his pink tipped hair.

He shouldn’t have come. He should have said he was busy studying. 

Heh. Again with that damn excuse.

“I just… I made a mistake, Jace. I miss him so much.” Magnus’ voice breaks, and he puts his head in his hands, trying not to cry. All of the emotions he has been repressing for weeks are floating out, threatening to tear down the walls he’s been trying desperately to build up again.

“Hey. It’s okay.” Jace’s voice is softer this time. There’s a hand on his shoulder, trying awkwardly to comfort him. “Just… talk to him.”

“I can’t, he won’t want to.”

Jace sits back in his seat. He sighs, fiddling with a stray strand of his golden blonde hair.

Suddenly, an idea.

Jace smiles a little deviously, the plan forming in his head.

“Magnus, I have to go… Trust me, you and Alec can sort this out. I know you can.”

And with that, he leaves.


	3. Jace is a Piece of Shit

Alec doesn’t know why he’s friends with Jace sometimes. This, this is a perfect example of one of those times. His blonde haired companion is dragging him blindfolded to some undisclosed location, on possibly the most windy and rainy night that Alec can remember ever having in the freaking summer.

Alec can feel the wind ruffling his shirt, causing it to stick close to his skin in some places, but ruffle away behind him in others. He’s cold, and a little damp from the rain. But most of all, he doesn’t want to be going wherever he’s going with Jace. He wants to go home, back to his apartment and just chill, watching his favourite shows on Netflix. There’s a new one that just came out called Shad-

Alec almost trips on a staircase, causing him to be yanked out of his thoughts about Netflix. He tries to glare at Jace, but alas, is blindfolded, so his death stare is lost to a flimsy scarf that was borrowed from Izzy.

“Oh, right. There are steps here.” Jace says, unhelpfully as Alec stumbles up the steps. They have come to a standstill. (Alec realises this only when Jace puts a hand on his chest to stop him from moving.)

“Can I take off the blindfold now? As much as I absolutely _love_ being blindfolded, this stinks of Izzy’s perfume, and not in a goo-”

“Alec.” Jace rolls his eyes. (Not that Alec can see, anyway.)

“So that’s a no.”

“Come on, we aren’t there yet.” Jace sighs, grabbing Alec’s arm to pull them inside. He had to find out the key code from Izzy, who loves to hang out with Magnus and talk about whatever they talk about.

The air is suddenly warm to Alec, who isn’t complaining. It’s a lot better than being soaked outside. He hates New York sometimes, he really does. He only has a few moments to appreciate it, before he’s being pulled by Jace towards something.

“It’s an elevator. I figured you don’t want to trip on any more stairs.” Alec tries to think of the places he knows that have elevators. The bowling alley does, but for some reason, Alec doesn’t think that Jace would blindfold him to go _bowling_. It seems a bit… unnecessary?

Alec allows himself to get lost in his thoughts again.

He hasn’t been outside much yet this summer, which means he’s still horrifically pale from the winter and lack of sun in the spring. He could go out and get tanned, but that runs the risk of running into… certain people that Alec would rather not think about right now, especially not while blindfolded, and _especially_ not while standing (presumably) right next to Jace. Jace doesn’t need to see him cry, he’d never stop worrying.

He is brought back to reality when the elevator doors ping open and Jace drags him out, a lot softer this time. They stop again, and Jace turns to him.

“You can take it off.”

Alec sighs in relief, clawing at the blindfold. When he eventually manages to get it off of his face, he opens his eyes and takes in his surroundings with great interest.

A blue door. An apartment building. The golden number eighteen on the door.

Alec’s heart drops. It drops because he knows _exactly_ where he is and he’s going to _kill_ Jace because he’s such a piece of _shit_.

Before Alec can run, Jace’s hand is tight on his arm, and he’s knocking. Loudly.

And Alec’s heart drops because this is Magnus’ apartment.


	4. Fucking Petulant Children

Magnus let out a groan when he heard the knocking. He was halfway through a tub of ice cream and the latest episode of X-Factor. He pulls himself off of the sofa and walks sluggishly to the door, dragging his feet more than necessary.

“I’m coming, Jesus Christ!” Magnus yells when the person behind the door knocks again. As he gets closer he can hear someone’s panicked voice and someone else trying to soothe the first.

He sighs, pulling the keys off of the rack and unlocking the door. When he pulls it open, it takes all of his strength not to slam it shut again.

“Magnus, hi,” Jace says, his voice abnormally cheery. Magnus isn’t looking at him, however. His brown eyes are trained on the person Jace is holding onto. Alec. He takes a deep breath, shutting his eyes for a moment, before turning to face the blonde boy.

“Why are you here? Moreover, why are you here with _him_?” Magnus demands, a certain tone to his voice that is somewhere between shock and anger. Jace sighs, relaxing a little but keeping his grip on Alec tight.

“You two need to stop acting like fucking petulant children and _talk_. I’m so sick of your shit, both of you. Didn’t anyone ever fucking tell you that communication is key?!” Jace demands, shaking Alec a little. The latter hangs his head, staring at the floor in favour of looking right into Magnus’ eyes.

With an unnecessary sigh, Magnus steps aside, letting Jace pull Alec into the apartment. Jace finally lets him go as Magnus shuts the door.

“Privacy, Jace?” Alec asks in a small voice, looking at his friend because he apparently can’t bear to look at his boyfriend. Jace nods silently, walking away from the pair, in the direction of the kitchen. Alec and Magnus stare each other down, as if they’re about to fight.

“I don’t want to be here,” Alec admits, “but I did want to see you. I miss you Magnus. My life has felt so shit without you there. It’s like… It’s like someone took away my oxygen. I feel like I can’t function properly without you, even if you’re not with me physically, just knowing that I have you, that you’re mine, that you will be there if I need you. I… I just missed you so, so much Magnus, I love you, I really do.”

Magnus nods slowly, looking taken aback at the words that just came out of Alec’s mouth. They both know that the Lightwood boy isn’t one for expressing his feelings very freely. 

Magnus sighs, and crosses the room to Alec in a couple of steps, taking his cold hands in his own.

“Alexander Lightwood. We’ve been such idiots, haven’t we, darling? I’m so sorry I put you, us, through that hell. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I missed you too, babe. It’s like every fibre of my being has been longing for you to come back, for some kind of sign that you still wanted this to work. I did too much waiting and not enough doing. I never even realised how much I needed you until these past few weeks. It honestly has felt like someone has taken a whole part of me away. Without you… I feel incomplete, Alec. I love you, I really do. I just… I can’t believe how we even survived without each other,” Magnus jokes a little. Alec smiles, an uncertain smile, and God, Magnus hasn’t seen that smile on this beautiful person’s face in too long.

“Are we… Can we… Oh!” Alec lets out a noise of surprise when Magnus surges forward and kisses him. It’s like their first kiss all over again, a mess of passion and heartache, both of them wanting the other but feeling like they can’t have him. Magnus has never felt so at home in Alec’s arms, and Alec has never felt so right.

The pair just stand there for as long as they can go without breathing. When they finally break apart for air, Magnus rests his forehead on Alec’s and smiles, keeping his eyes shut for a moment longer.

 **Jace:** i think i just fixed a relationship  
**Jace:** hopefully they dont start fuckin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooh boy  
> that was a ride and a half whoop  
> the end!!!! :)


End file.
